Regardless of gender, all of us our robbed of a comprehensive sex education, especially around pleasure. That’s why I decided to turn the “elusive” topic of female pleasure into practical sex education courses and advice, that people could take action on immediately. Only one in four cisgender women regularly report orgasming during penetrative intercourse, but we can change this statistic together, and the first step is understanding the limitless potential of female pleasure.
Suzannah Weiss agrees, and in her new article for Bustle she spoke with me about 5 Tips For Pleasing People With Vulvas.
The most important piece that I highlighted first is attitudes toward female pleasure. As Suzannah writes:
“Female pleasure is too often viewed as either optional, hopelessly complicated, or a show of achievement for men. But it shouldn’t be. It should be a normal, everyday, expected part of sex. And that’s not a difficult goal to achieve. As “sex hacker” Kenneth Play proves in his online courses, you don’t need to have a big penis, last all night, or be blessed with special talents to satisfy someone with a vulva. All you really need is open-mindedness, communication, and a bit of information — and that’s where Play’s courses come in.”
I couldn’t agree more, and I take great care when developing my courses to talk with the women in my life — partners, colleagues, and mentors — about what they feel good sex involves, and what female pleasure looks like. More often than not it’s communication and willingness to pay attention to women’s pleasure that sets men apart as sexual partners.
“Good sex is “about adopting a growth mindset to sexuality,” The quality of your sex life is not determined by your innate abilities but by your “effort and ability to learn. The one thing I would teach anyone is that their sex life can change drastically if they put some effort into learning.”
To begin that learning with the pleasure tips I shared with Bustle and Suzannah, head over to the full article, 5 Tips For Pleasing People With Vulvas, According To A Sex Hacker! And remember to keep a growth mindset with your approach to sex and to spend some time focusing on your partner’s pleasure during your next love session!