Adjusting to Orgy Killing COVID

You can read about me “moaning” about how I would “give my left testicle” to go to an orgy again in the latest NY Post exposé about my sex life, and histrionics aside, there is a reason that the desire for me is so strong. COVID has been challenging for everyone, in various ways, and I would exclaim that this is an especially challenging time for people who have multiple sexual partners, or socialize through sexual experiences. In 2019, I had over 100 lovers, and in 2020, I probably had around 5, which to some may sound ridiculous, but I, and so many other people in my community have callabriated our “normal” to include these experiences on a regular basis. Imagine if you are playing a video game, and you have been shooting with an automatic weapon the entire game, and then you have to use machete. That already feels like a huge adjustment, being in COVID felt like having to get used to a butter knife. We struggled, and continue to struggle to find the right balance between keeping ourselves safe, and experiencing this intense desire for touch. 

This desire for touch, is also known as “skin hunger“, and can have a huge impact on our mental health. “Touch is a modulator that can temper the effects of stress and pain, physical and emotional. We have seen in our research that a lack of touch is associated with greater anxiety,” says Dr Katerina Fotopoulou. “In times of high stress – the loss of a job, or a bereavement, for example – having more touch from others helps us cope better, particularly in calming the effects of the stress hormone, cortisol. 

The frequency at which we are used to being around so many bodies on a regular basis, mixed with skin hunger, made for a frustrating quarantine to say the least. Full lockdowns were meant to keep us safe, but deprived us from a vital part of the human experience. During the pandemic we were more lonely and in need of pleasure and intimacy, yet no one has told us how to process it in a practical matter. We — those without live-in partners, or living alone, those who may have multiple partners, those who just want to get off with someone else — deserve sex and intimacy, especially in a pandemic where most of our other sources of pleasure have been restricted. We actually have a very comprehensive coronavirus Smarter Hookup Guide which is a joint effort between myself, Chelsey Fasano, my head of research and development, and Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, and Karen Embert which you can find here.Telling people not to have sex just doesn’t work. After decades of study of sex education that emphasizes abstinence only, we know that this type of education only leads to riskier behavior in the end ((Breunig, 2017; Hall, McDermott Sales, Komro & Santelli, 2016; Hoefer & Hoefer, 2017; Kantor, Santelli, Teitler & Balmer, 2008; Santelli, 2017). 

Living in a community living situation allowed us to have interactions that most other people were deprived of which was a luxury during these times. We continue to move through this pandemic without hosting any gatherings, or events. For now, we are trying to get off and stay safe while allowing our members to engage virtually with virtual orgies, and kink workshops throughout the month. Check out our upcoming virtual events here.

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