(Dame) A Handy Guide to Hand Sex

In the movies and media, penile/vaginal intercourse is portrayed most commonly as what sex “is”. We don’t see a ton of scenes that revolve around manual sex as an event unto itself. But hand sex is hot and fun for both foreplay and the main act! Here are some of my tips for pleasuring vulva-havers.

  1. Don’t Forget to Warm Up. Warm up your partner with external touch like we described in chapter six on foreplay. Give her vulva a pussy hug; tease her labia; pinch her labia around her clit; whatever feels good to her and helps her relax. Don’t go straight into fingering her clit or sliding your fingers in her vagina (unless you know she likes that right away). Giving too much stimulation too quickly is equivalent to throwing on a light switch in the dark all at once: it can be a glaring change for the nervous system.
  2. Learning Her Body. Watching your partner masturbate is a great way to understand how she likes her clit to be touched. You can start with the same techniques to give her the same stimulation she gives herself and build from there.
  3. A Popular Way to Stimulate the Clit. If your partner prefers sensation across her whole vulva, use your whole hand, with fingers flat and pressed together, to stroke back and forth across her vulva and clit. The subtle ripple between your fingers will give stimulation similar to a vibrator. You can increase the sensation by fanning your fingers out and moving your hand faster back and forth.
  4. Internal Touch. Once your finger is in knuckle-deep, keep your finger still for a moment to give your partner a moment to feel the sensation of your finger inside. If you want to insert two fingers, stagger your index finger on top of your middle finger so they create the least amount of surface space sliding into the vaginal opening. Apply pressure up toward her belly button to map where her G-spot is. Start with a broad, sweeping motion from one side (one hip) to the other, making a half-moon shape, to get a sense of where she feels the most sensation.Only move your fingers in or out to adjust the depth, not as a back-and-forth thrusting motion. When you have a sense of where the most sensitive spot is for your partner, you can focus your attention there. Press harder to see what range of pressure she likes—you might be surprised at how much pressure you can apply. You can also add friction, curling your fingertips back and forth. Try friction only and pressure only to see what your partner likes best. To create maximum sensation on the G spot, uncurl your fingers all the way so they press toward the back wall of the vagina.

You can learn all about digital(finger/hand) stimulation and so much more with my Sex Hacker Pro Course!

And get my tips for pleasuring penis havers in the article A Handy Guide to Hand Sex by Gigi Engle for Swell by Dame

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