If someone has a hand fetish, chances are it’s more specific than just being like, “hands are cool.” In fact, international educator and creator of the Sex Hacker Pro Series Kenneth Play says it’s usually super individualized and can range from “something mild, like wanting to date people with beautiful, manicured hands, to having specific ways of wanting to act this out, such as elaborate hand rubs, hand worship, and so on.”
And check out my unpublished bonus content on this topic!
What is a hand fetish?
A hand fetish is when hands become a big part of a person’s erotic life. They are aroused by hands in specific, and this can range from something mild, like wanting to date people with beautiful, manicured hands, to having specific ways of wanting to act this out, such as elaborate hand rubs, hand worship, and so on.
Is having a hand fetish weird or abnormal? How common *is* it?
Alfred Kinsey famously said “The only kind of unnatural sex is that which you cannot perform.” and Freud said that we are “polymorphously perverse”, meaning that we can be sexually attracted to or aroused by just about anything as humans. Check out this article by Justin Lehmiiler to read about all the different kinds of fetishes people have. The word normal is a pretty loaded one, implying that what the majority of the population is doing at any given time is best. However, what’s “normal” isn’t always healthy, sane, or optimal. On the other hand, some of the most intelligent, enlightened and wonderful people on the planet were far from normal. What’s important is health, sanity, kindness, and optimality, not normalcy.
How do you talk to a partner about your interest in hands or your hand fetish?
I always recommend bringing these things up as early on as possible so you can see if your partner is open to your desires. I recommend talking as straightforwardly and honestly as you can with your partner, and encouraging them to do the same. There is no point in trying to be vague or opaque in communication; if someone is weirded out by you, it’s better to find out sooner rather than later. Then you two can come up with creative ways to work with this.