“Sensory deprivation, sensation, G-spot and clitoral stimulation are such a delicious combo together. When you add a luxurious feel to this, it makes the experience decadent and indulgent, which brings you towards focusing on your senses and being in the moment.” – Kenneth Play
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My best foreplay tips:
Transition from stress to play: One of the most overlooked aspects of foreplay is about transitioning from your regular workday into sex. So, sometimes, just the idea of foreplay is stressful, because sex and or foreplay can just seem like yet another thing we have to check off the list. So, one of the most important parts of foreplay is finding ways to make this transition more smoothly and with less effort for both of you. Emily Nagoski covers this topic well in her book, “Come as You Are”, where she addresses the sexual inhibition and sexual excitation systems. She compares the sexual inhibition system to brakes and the sexual excitation system to gas, where the activation of one mutes the action of the other. The first step of foreplay is taking a foot off the brakes, so that when you do any technique or another, it actually works.
Emotional Check-in: One of the first steps towards taking off the brakes is checking in with each other. Put away your devices and check in with each other to see where you are both at. This isn’t necessarily about doing a bunch of deep processing, but more about figuring out where you’re both starting and what you can do to help each other transition from a stressful day into a place that is more sensual and relaxed.
Sexy Shower: After connecting emotionally, try creating some rituals that help you to feel like you are stepping out of one role and into another. Having a sexy shower together is a great way to warm up, plus you feel clean and ready for sex. Changing clothes, drinking some tea or a glass of wine together, or any other ritual that works for you all help you switch modes.
Dominating Relaxation: If dominance and submission is part of your dynamic, sometimes it works well if one partner guides and directs the other to relax. Telling the person to focus on their senses, let go of their stress, and guiding them through the processes of transitioning can be very soothing, and help the person let go.
Take things digital: Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words, and a video can be even more compelling. Text them a gif from a sexy movie or a 20 second sexy video of yourself to whet their sexual appetite. If you’re romantic, it could be from a romance movie like “The Notebook”, and if you’re kinky, something from “Fifty Shades of Grey”.