“You don’t necessarily need a hard cock to have an orgasm.” – Kenneth Play
There are many biological causes for erectile dysfunction, but what I specialize in is psychological ED. In this case, there is no problem with vasocongestion or any other biological issue, but there are significant psychological barriers to getting and maintaining an erection.
This often happens when an issue like performance anxiety or low sexual self-esteem causes the person to become overly tense and unable to focus on and enjoy the pleasurable aspects of sex. This leads to loss of erection, which then causes further anxiety and tension.
The most popular way of dealing with this condition is viagra and cialis. These drugs make it significantly easier to get and maintain an erection. However, even with this, psychological ED can make it tough to stay hard.
In my book Beyond Satisfied I offer an in depth guide to overcoming performance anxiety like a world-class athlete. These steps require a more in-depth explanation, but I’ll give you the cliff notes here: First, you have to be ok with what’s happening in the moment. What you resist persists, and the more you resist what is happening, the worse your anxiety will get.
So, accept that you are experiencing anxiety and it’s perfectly ok. Your dick will get hard when you are aroused. Then use deep breathing to calm your nervous system. When you are calm enough, that’s when arousal occurs.
Finally, when you’re calm enough, focus back onto the erotic. Specifically put your attention on what is arousing to you about the experience. Actively perv out! Focus on what is beautiful and sexy about the person in front of you; eroticize and objectify. Be patient with yourself, this takes practice.
But, the most important pro tip is that you do not need a hard cock to give her an orgasm either! If you master the skill to give her many different kinds of orgasms without even needing an erection, then your competence in the bedroom will give you a different kind of lasting confidence, which, most likely, will not only inflate your ego but your dick as well.