The Post just released this interview with me about my top 5 sex hacks for loving the penis you have!
This interview was challenging, because the Post kept pushing towards this narrative that your cock is not big enough, so here are some pro-tips on how to compensate for your average-sized cock. And the message that I want to tell people is that there’s no need to compensate! You are not sexually broken. You are good enough. Love the penis you have. The myth that bigger is better costs countless men sexual self-confidence and self-esteem. I’ve always felt that it’s more important what you do than what you do it with, which is why I teach sex skills in my courses that lead you towards confidence not compensating.
Here’s some research my business partner, Dr. Zhana, has compiled on this topic:
1. What’s the average penis size?
The best research available that we have on this (which had 1,661 sexually active US men measure their penises using a ruler and detailed, illustrated directions provided by the researchers, Herbenick et al., 2014) finds that the average penis length is 5.5 inches (range 1.6-10.2) and the average circumference is 4.8 inch (range 1.2 to 7.5).
2. What percentage of people fall under this average range?
About 70% of men have a penis that’s between 4.7 and 6.3 inches in length, and between 4.3 and 5.5 in circumference. Porn star sized penises are VERY VERY rare: only 2% of men have a penis that is 8 inches or longer in length and thicker than 6.7 in circumference.
3. Penis size satisfaction
In a large-scale (N = 25,594) Internet survey of heterosexual men, only 55% of men reported being satisfied with their penis size and 45% reported wanting a larger penis. These results were consistent across age groups. Notably, men who perceived themselves to have a large penis exhibited higher appearance satisfaction, suggesting a link between body image and penis size (Lever, Frederick & Peplau, 2006).
4. Does penis size matter to women?
Research shows that only about 20-30% of sexually experienced women say that penis size matters; only a small minority like less than 5% say it’s “very important”. (Of those who do care about size, most say they girth is more important than length.) 70-80% women say penis size is either “not important” or “totally unimportant”. (Probably because it’s more important to know how to pleasure her with techniques other than penetration, anyways, like how to touch her clit!)
5. Women’s average preferred size
A couple of studies find that women report an average length of about 6.0-6.5”. In a brilliant study (that overcame the problem of people not having a very good idea of what different lengths and girths might actually look/feel like), researchers had 75 sexually experienced women touch in their hands 3-D printed cylinders of 33 different sizes (length ranging from 4.0’’ to 8.5’’, and circumference ranging from 2.5’’to 7.0’, using 0.5-inch (1.3 cm) increments). Even here, women preferred penises of around 6.3”. Specifically they preferred a penis of slightly larger circumference and length for one-time (length = 6.4 inches, circumference = 5.0 inches) partners versus long-term (length = 6.3 inches, circumference = 4.8 inches) sexual partners. (Prause et al., 2015_PLOS)
6. Do women really prefer what men think women prefer?
No. Men’s expectations for what size women prefer are actually quite off from what women actually prefer. In one study of 110 men and women, women’s stated preferred penis length was 6.1” on average, whereas men thought that women’s average ideal was 7.1. (Johnston, McLellan, & McKinlay, 2014)
With those facts in mind, my mission is to debunk some of the harmful myths about penis size! What I’ve learned is that it’s a game of compatibility, not a competition of size. For every vagina, there’s a penis that’s too small, too big, or just right. It’s like finding a pair of shoes: You have to find one that fits right. But, luckily, most penises fit most vaginas. And, in the end, no matter your size, it’s important you know how to pleasure your partner in multiple ways: not just penetrative sex, but also oral, fingering, kink, or whatever her desires are! If you don’t know how to use your penis or how to give pleasure with more than just your penis, then that’s a bigger problem.
So the goal isn’t to love the penis you have DESPITE its size; the goal is to love the penis you have because every size has pros and cons. Speaking personally, I remember there were times in my life that I felt sexually inadequate with my 5.6″ penis, and I thought that women wouldn’t desire or be satisfied by me. Overcoming those challenging insecurities and gaining sexual confidence has profoundly changed my life.
So I hope to be able to help all people with penises experience these same kind of feelings about their bodies!