(Inside Hook) Why You Should Let Your Partner Tie You Up

​​“You don’t know if you’ll like something until you try it. And, even if you don’t enjoy it, you will gain a lot of knowledge from experiencing the other side of this dynamic.” – Kenneth Play

Read the full article Why You Should Let Your Partner Tie You Up by Kayla Kibbe for Inside Hook

Or read on for more of my thoughts about bondage:

What are some of the biggest misconceptions men have about bondage?

KP: People think that bondage is by necessity dark and sadistic. However, it doesn’t have to be that way [personally I love using the fun rainbow rope to create a different vibe]. For some, giving and receiving bondage can be a meditation, where one’s attention is totally focused on the present moment. It can be a rush, a way to experience safe danger, similar to a rollercoaster ride or skiing. It can be performance art, where the top makes the bottom into a living sculpture. It can also be a way of nurturing, and caring for someone, where the ropes become a way to hold the person in a type of embrace. Bondage is also done sometimes without any sexual stuff involved. It can be an act unto itself. 

What are some of the biggest stigmas/misconceptions about men who practice bondage, including those who enjoy being tied themselves?

KP: Some of the biggest misconceptions about anyone who practices BDSM is that they are unhealthy or maladjusted psychologically. This was unfortunately perpetuated by parts of the psychoanalytic and psychological community up until recently, when a body of work has come out showing that BDSM participants have the same levels of psychological health and relationship satisfaction as their vanilla counterparts. People miss the part of BDSM where safety and boundaries are negotiated, and think that the exchange of power is truly to enact abuse or take advantage of another person. This is not the entire picture of BDSM. It’s more like a wrestling match, where animalism is consensually acted out within rules that both parties agree to.  

What are some of the benefits of being tied? How might the experience enhance a man’s sex life?

KP:  If you are looking at bondage from the outside, you might be surprised about how it feels on the inside. Both giving and receiving bondage can really help you focus in on the moment and experience your senses in a very special way. In today’s hyperconnected, always-on world, where screentime dominates most experiences, having a moment to go low-tech and focus on the body is an excellent practice.

What should men know before they begin experimenting with bondage?

KP: Getting some basic safety skills surrounding bondage is really important. This is too vast a terrain to cover in one article, but this is an area where education should precede experience. I highly recommend searching for a class in your town or community and going to one beginner’s lesson before trying this at home.

Anything else you’d like to add to the topic? 

KP: Exploitability has been scientifically shown to be arousing. Seeing someone in a helpless, captured state elicits a primal response or arousal. That’s why it’s depicted in so many movies and novels. There’s nothing wrong with you if you find this hot. It’s perfectly human.


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