Some of the most rewarding moments from my work with Back to the Body are when women truly embrace not only their desires, but also their own power to ask for those desires and seek them out. It’s an embracing of who they are that stands in defiance to lifelong lessons that their wants and needs matter less.
Pam, of the blog Down to There, recently wrote an amazing post about her perspectives on the Back to the Body experience that perfectly addresses this concept of Unapologetic Sexuality and the power of speaking your thoughts.
Speaking your mind also means speaking feedback, whether to a practitioner or your partner, which can sometimes feel scary. But part of embracing your sexuality, of letting go of unnecessary apologizing and de-prioritizing your wants, is no longer being afraid to give feedback. Embrace giving feedback, embrace asking for what you want, as another piece of the process of embracing your sexuality! Feedback can’t be neutral. You need to speak your truth, whether it’s a “No, I don’t really like how that feels, can you do it differently?” or a “Yes, right there it feels really great!” or even just a “I’m not sure why, but I’m not really feeling things right now. Can we pause and talk about it?”. Your thoughts and words are powerful and a piece of who you are. Speak them out.
You might be asking yourself, but how do I respond that feedback when it’s given? Sometimes a “Thank you for sharing with me and letting me know how you’re doing” is the best response! When our partners give us a feedback it’s a chance for us to validate them, hold space, and let them know that we care about them and their thoughts. Feedback isn’t an attack on our skills, it’s a chance for us to calibrate to our partner’s unique body and mind. Embrace receiving feedback as much as you’d embrace giving it!
Again, check out Pam’s great blog post about Unapologetic Sexuality for more! And if you’re interested in Back to the Body, learn more here!