“I don’t have to defend being hetero anymore.”
Cosmopolitan just published an article where they interviewed some sex-party veterans to find out just what goes into our sex-party attire. The flavors and styles they found run the gamut, and I was fortunate to be among the lovely, sexy people profiled. Here is what I wore:
Firstly, I choose something to wear that is functional. In a play-party scenario, this often means something that has a pocket or pouch that allows me to store essentials like lube & condoms. That way, I’m never without what I need as the evening unfolds.
Secondly, I want to make sure that I am expressing myself in my own, eye-catching way.
When I was younger, I worried that people would think I “looked gay” if I expressed myself the way I do now. I have always been keen on bright and showy clothing and patterns but I was anxious that anything “too” coordinated, pretty, or colorful would make me unattractive to women – but now I find this is far from the truth!
Conversely, many women do not find themselves expressly lusting after a man in off white tighty whiteys or basic boxers, and actually the more sexually expressive I’ve become, the more attention I have attracted. The idea of defending how hetero I was in a sexual environment didn’t make sense after a while and just felt unnecessary. When I let go of that defense, I found more internal freedom, which was followed by the external freedom of wearing what I want and expressing myself.
I like peacocking. I like making myself more noticeable and expressing my sexuality and my own comfort level with sexuality. I get more attention at play parties now and as a bonus I feel more comfortable when I’m expressing myself confidently. There is a long list of species from the animal kingdom where it is the male that uses his bright colors, flashy patterns, or stunning poses to attract a mate, and that expression should be embraced in humans who want to be flashy aas well!
In America, I’ve found that we don’t really have this sort of physical sexual expression as an allowed dimension for straight-identifying men. We can learn a lot from the Gay community, where men are more inclined to celebrate their sexuality and sexual expression. And this does not necessarily imply an effort to look more explicitly Femme, just dressing in a way that is more expressive of one’s own sexuality.
For me, that does sometimes include heels and an apron. 😉 If you love my costume please check out Costumegasm at Etsy She is the BEST!!!!
Go ahead and get Sex-pressive.